


to Change (to Become)

by Koayyy



Series: White, Blank Paradise [4]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 11:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14543748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koayyy/pseuds/Koayyy
Summary: Lucio's change starts small at first, until one day, it hits him and it changes many things. Djeeta is worried, Sandalphon is not worried (read: very worried), and Lyria is worried. But only Lyria manages to talk to him.





	to Change (to Become)

**Author's Note:**

> I worked on this for Far Too Long ><;; I'm sure you can tell where I lost steam and honestly I don't like how this turned out, but I didn't want to scrap it so HERE IT IS!! Enjoy!!!

Lucio was a relatively new crew member. The string of events that lead to him joining the diverse cast of the Grandcypher went by smoothly with no problems to the other crew members, but Djeeta knew better. He was powerful, maybe even stronger than the other primal beasts on board, but his intentions were genuinely good and his sense of justice strong, so she trusted him. 

And most of the crew shared the same opinion, not counting the ones that were cautious and hard to trust. All but one, that had made his feelings clear on the matter the first day Lucio joined.

Djeeta was undoubtedly worried for Sandalphon. Chloe had called him a ‘Tsundere’ more than once, but she thinks-, no, she’s sure that isn’t the problem. The problem is the incident that caused Sandalphon to join the crew in the first place. 

The incident isn’t something she likes to think about. If she was being honest, she would prefer to not think about the incident at all. The death of one of the strongest primal beasts isn’t exactly an everyday occurrence, after all, it was something that was thought impossible until it happened.

And now Sandalphon and the other primarchs are paying the price.

She shakes her head. Sandalphon isn’t the only one she was worried about. She thinks she knows Lucio well enough. He’s proud and eager to bring up the topic of his looks, somewhat of a kluz when it came to ‘mortal’ things like drinking and eating and feelings, and shows no mercy to beings that he deems evil. But he’s been acting strange.

It has crossed her mind that her eyes might have been deceiving her, but she swears on her sword skills that Lucio’s face, normally only containing his charismatic smile, was becoming more expressive lately. It was faint, but Lyria agrees with her. He was developing  _ strong emotions _ , something that primal beasts aren’t supposed to have. 

(Sandalphon always experiences strong emotions. He has since the day he was born, and she can’t help but wonder sometimes if the Astral that created Lucifer expected his perfect creation to seek the very element he was supposed to watch over.)

So yes, she was worried about potentially the two of the strongest primal beasts in existence, because both of them can’t seem to handle the ‘complex mortal inconvenience’ of having feelings. 

She decides to ask Lucio about it one day, on one of their relatively frequent sword training sessions. As his disciple, he had volunteered to help her improve her sword skills, and boy was he working her to the bone. But she can’t blame him, a primal beast doesn’t get tired during most of their life.

“Hey, Lucio,” she starts as she parried his katana with her own sword. “how have you been feeling lately?”

Lucio furrows his eyebrows, the confusion more apparent in his face than the last time she had caught him off guard. “Whatever do you mean, Djeeta?” he says as he takes a step back to prepare for her next move.

“I mean, I’m the Captain, so I need to know if everyone feels alright every once in a while! Never hurts to make sure.” she says back smoothly, following the script in her head as she rushes forward for a strike to Lucio’s shoulder. If it all goes well, Lucio will tell her his troubles of his own accord. 

“Well…” he hesitates for a second while easily blocking her strike, then. “Strange occurrences have been happening, but it’s nothing to concern yourself about.” he dismisses it quickly, probably to stop her from focusing on it. Well unfortunately for him, she won’t let it go. 

“Strange occurrences?” she says as she untangles her sword from his katana and aims for his other side with one quick swing. He blocks it effortlessly, but does note that her sword swinging was becoming more efficient.

Their conversation stops to a halt as the only sound in the air were the sounds of their swords clashing again and again. She commits Lucio’s conflicted face to memory and almost flinches when he starts talking again while a floating sword blocks her well-aimed slash.

“I believe you’ve heard of my encounters with Sandalphon,” Lucio says, face still containing traces of his internal conflict. She nods while stepping back, deciding to pause the session for a while. “well, the few recent ones have felt… different.” it takes him a while to find a suitable word.

“Different? How so?” she asks, lowering the sword in her hands when she notices that Lucio wasn’t really paying attention to their spar. It’s better to talk about complicated things without the possibility of accidentally injuring someone hanging in the air.

His katanas all fly back towards him, and he grips one of them in his hands. She sees his fingers rubbing the grip of the katana and his six wings subtly flapping about. Is, is that a nervous quirk?

“I find myself wanting to touch him sometimes, just things like holding his hands. And when we talked, I felt different.” it takes him some time to get the words out, so when he pauses, she keeps herself silent and patient. 

“It was as if, as if another part of me rose to the surface, replacing my usual… vigor with something, something gentle and soft, maybe even nurturing?” he questions himself, and Djeeta stares in confusion as his grip on his katana tightens.

“And the strangest thing was that… I felt different, but it also felt… right, at the same time.” his two still floating katanas sheath themselves, and he loosens his grip on the one he was holding. 

“But enough about this. Let’s continue the lesson.” he says, and charges at her with no warning.

That was that, and she hasn’t gotten anything from him ever since. She lets out an audible sigh and makes her way to the kitchen. Maybe asking Sandalphon will provide her with some sort of an answer.

 

* * *

 

When he falls asleep on the soft mattress in the room he is given on the Grandcypher, he feels himself materialize in an infinitely white space, and not even his primal senses can help him figure the place out.

Thankfully, he doesn’t need to as a silhouette blinks into existence a few feet in front of him. It’s hard to make it out, but he feels that he knows who it is, even though he couldn’t have known. It’s a confusing feeling.

The silhouette walks towards him with graceful steps, the six large wings flowing as it - _ he _ \- closed the distance. His hands are suddenly grasped by  _ him _ , familiar hands holding his own in a tight grip that mimics how he once instinctively reached out to Sandalphon’s hand.

He couldn’t fully see the silhouette, as everything above their neck looked as if layered with black paint, but he knows who it is. The ethereal voice speaks, most of the message garbled and unprocessable, but he catches some parts of it.

He catches the words: ‘memories’, ‘feelings’, ‘choice’, ‘sorry’, ‘sorry’, ‘sorry’, before he is hit with something. Something blinding yet warm, heavy yet soft, strong yet weak. It spreads from his core and swallows him whole.

He truly feels for the first time, the feelings of yearning, of desire, of regret, entangled with the bittersweet memories of sharing a cup of freshly brewed coffee under a shaded garden. He is aware that these memories are not his, yet they are  _ his _ . 

Is he losing himself, or is he merely regaining the part of himself that was meant to be there all this time? Was ‘Lucio’ meant to exist, or was it merely a being that was born of a mix of coincidence and of chance meetings?

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know.

 

* * *

 

One day their teamwork was unbeatable, and the next it becomes an absolute shipwreck. It's almost amazing how fast it crashed and burned, like how the rebellion’s chances of succeeding had plummeted from maybe a solid 50% to a big fat 0 with a blink of a light.

Sandalphon lets his mind wonder as he makes coffee with practiced hands. After the quick quest with the rest of the light party, they had went their separate ways. The Singularity along with some of the other members went to turn the request in, while he had withdrew as soon as he could.

Fighting on the battlefield with Lucio wasn’t as bad as he expected, and he hadn’t snapped at him ever since the first day Lucio joined, so he had thought that how they fought together had created some sort of mutual understanding between them, right until Lucio starts to avoid him.

It started a few days ago, he hadn’t seen Lucio during the night after he woke up from the usual nightmare, and hadn’t seen him during the day either. Of course, he could just follow his senses and go talk to him about it, but it seemed that if he was on one end of the ship, then Lucio is on the other. Running there never helps, since he runs away just as quickly. The last time he caught him, he had teleported away the moment they made eye contact.

It’s starting to get  _ real _ frustrating.

Sandalphon just wants to mend their tattered bond for the sake of their performance on the battlefield. Lucio’s been so un-himself that even the Singularity was concerned, for heaven’s sake!

As he holds the holder in his hand, he realizes that he had made enough for two people, again. He grits his teeth and lets out a little sigh. Ingrained habits are so difficult to break.

As he grabs a cup, he feels a familiar and surprising presence heading towards and entering the kitchen. The presence stands in the middle of the room by the table, and Sandalphon turns to see Lucio, face surprisingly emotionless.

“You want something?” Sandalphon asks as he gently puts the saucer and then the cup onto the table, the coffee holder in his other hand. 

Lucio is uncharacteristically quiet, his eyes trained on the coffee holder in Sandalphon’s hand. Then he opens his mouth-

“I don't think I ever did give coffee a try. Do you mind pouring me a cup, Sandalphon?” Lucio says, and Sandalphon has to take a moment to shake off the familiarity. Lucifer is gone, he needs to remember this. He almost yells at him to do it himself, but it gets stuck in his throat and he has to swallow to make the feeling go away. The cup is filled with coffee and placed on the table.

Lucio joins him across the table when he sits down with his own cup. They sit in silence for a moment, Lucio looking into the coffee in his held cup and Sandalphon sipping his coffee while watching him. Considering some of the other reactions he’s gotten, he’s curious to how Lucio takes it.

Lucio lifts the cup to his lips and takes a sip. The moment he does, he puts the cup back onto the saucer and freezes in place. His gaze stays downwards, staring into the cup, and Sandalphon catches himself before he tilted his head in confusion. Instead, he keeps his eyes on Lucio’s expression and waits.

It takes a while until Lucio speaks.

“This is good, Sandalphon.” he says, and Sandalphon has to physically shake the familiarity off of himself this time. 

“I'm glad you like it.” Sandalphon says, sipping his coffee. The strange tension in the air dissipates and is replaced with something… something he can't place, but it's a comfort nonetheless.

It but only lasts for a fleeting moment, until the Singularity barges into the kitchen, untactful as always, with Lyria and the crimson dragon behind her. The feeling in the air disappears, leaving Sandalphon’s core feeling strangely empty.

Their coffee break continues with the added members and the noise pollution increases along with them. He takes the job of making another batch of coffee for them, if just to escape the amount of noise they are making, despite his strange reluctance of leaving the table. 

His own unfinished cup of coffee turns cold, left forgotten on the brown wooden table of the Grandcypher.

 

* * *

 

The crew had gotten a notice from Siero of the Ancient Battlefield opening again soon. The incoming primal beasts are predicted to be dark elemented, so their light party will become busy very, very soon. Lucio knows this, but he still can’t bring himself to properly face Sandalphon outside of the one cup of coffee he tried.

Just that moment had sent Lucio for a loop.  _ He _ was more inexpressive and emotionless, but Lucio was the opposite, he had no reason to suppress his emotions.  _ He _ had created Sandalphon to be closer to skydwellers in order to learn from him, but Lucio had no need of such a thing. 

The entire situation was complicated and bizarre, but before he could fully process it all, the memories had came barging into his mind, filling him to the point of exploding. A part of him wonders if this is what Sandalphon had felt months ago, but the thought is pushed aside in favor of more important matters. Like getting himself in control again before he fully loses himself to the memories.

Should he inform Sandalphon that he has  _ his _ memories? Should he ask the Captain for advice? Or should he go to the other primal beasts on the ship? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know. 

“Lucio?” a voice outside the door asks softly. He raises his head and opens the door to see Lyria, fidgeting nervously. His confusion is pushed aside and he puts on a small smile.

“Yes, Lyria? Is there something I can help you with?” he says it as how he usually would, but Lyria seems to flinch for some reason.

“N- no! But er, that, can- can I come in first?” her nervousness is on an unusual degree, but he lets her in and closes the door without complaint. He sits on the bed while Lyria pulls a chair over to sit while facing him, her nervous energy not lowering one bit.

He waits patiently as she takes a deep breath, then she speaks.

“E-erm, Djeeta has been worried and I sometimes sense a lot of negative emotions from you and well, we’re really worried,” she says quickly. “are you okay, Lucio?” she then says slowly, as if trying to keep herself in control.

“I’ve been fine, Lyria. Have you maybe-”

“Please don’t lie! I can sense that you’re not okay, your smile isn’t the same like this!” she says, emotions bursting out as tears gather at the edge of her blue eyes. It causes him to freeze, only snapping out of it to calm Lyria down.

It’s uncharacteristic of him, but he takes a deep breath as he makes his decision, then he tells her.

“I received Lucifer’s memories,” he starts, and Lyria gasps. “I've been confused as to what I should do, which is also why I've been… avoiding Sandalphon. I don't know how much of my emotions are my own anymore, and it's only gotten worse since.” 

The room is quiet when he finishes talking. Lyria stares at him and then quickly snaps herself out of it.

“T-that’s…” she says, hesitation and nervousness fully in her voice. “May- maybe you should tell him?” 

“I’ve considered it, but I fear his reaction.” he says, his eyes avoiding Lyria’s face.  _ His _ last moment with Sandalphon coming to mind only further cements his fear. 

Lyria’s hands grip her skirt as a small distressed sound escapes her throat, only releasing one of them to wipe her tears away. Her distressed sounds continue for another moment, until one of her hands suddenly come forward to tightly grip his.

“You  _ have _ to tell him.” she tells him, tears still glittering on the edge of her eyes. 

…

Which lead to this.

Lucio stares at the nameplate on the door for one last moment before knocking on it. Sandalphon reluctantly lets him in, and the door shuts with a final click.


End file.
